A Modest Proposal for Portland
Maine's largest city should keep replacing its creepy open spaces with condos.
By Agnes Bushell
Some would say I don't even live in Maine, and they might have a case. I live in Portland, which all real Mainers recognize as a foreign enclave, and I hardly ever venture out beyond the city limits. I have deep-rooted fears of the country. When I first came to Maine thirty-odd years ago, I lived in the country, and had some terrifying experiences. Men wearing horrifying orange clothes drove around in pickup trucks with guns mounted over their rear windows. I woke up one morning in November and found a dead deer hanging from a tree in front of my neighbor's house.
