Timmy’s Fallen Down the Well

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It was a “Timmy’s fallen down the well” sort of weekend here at the LeClair household. What, may you ask, is that? Well, I’ll tell you.

Charlie was up on the roof doing some repair work. I guess he’d gotten a little vigorous with the roof rake. (For you folks who live in a warmer climate, that’s a tool you use to get snow off the roof, so the weight of it won’t send the ceiling crashing down on your head. And yes, we do get that much snow!) Anyways, he must of poked a little hole in one or two of the shingles, because with all that rain we’ve had, we developed a leak in, of all places, our bathroom ceiling.

As if this weren’t bad enough, our bathroom is located in what my niece Caitlin calls the wealth area of our house. See, along with working down to Mahoosuc Health Food, she’s what’s known as certified Feng Shui consultant.

When Caitlin first got interested in it, I never heard of Feng Shui. Couldn’t understand what she was talking about. I watched a show on Feng Shui on the Home and Garden network, but it’s still hard for me to explain exactly what it is. So, I asked Caitlin to make me up a little card, so I could brag about her. I keep it in my wallet.

“Feng Shui,” it says, “is the ancient Chinese art of organization of a space to facilitate the optimum flow of chi, or life energy.” Or as Charlie says, “Arranging furniture to make the worse possible use of the available space.” I say, anything that makes you stop and think about what you want out of life, which is apparently a big part of Feng Shui, can’t be half-bad.

So when Caitlin got certified, I hired her to come Feng Shui our double-wide. You know, as a way of helping her get her business off the ground. First, we did a centering meditation. Then we talked about my “intentions,” things I want to “manifest,” which sounds kind of silly, I know, but I really got into it.

Then Caitlin pulls out this energy map. Well, wasn’t that facinating? Apparently, different sections of the house represent different areas of your life: relationships, health, family, travel. That’s when I found out our wealth area was located in the bathroom. Swear to God, whatever wealth we have is in the toilet! I was a little concerned, as you can imagine.

But, Caitlin perscribed some basic “cures” to prevent our wealth from completely going down the drain. I was to buy some green towels, because green symbolizes wealth. And, we had to start making sure to keep the lid of the toilet closed. That was a hard sell with Charlie, as you can imagine, but Caitlin gave me a crystal to put in our relationship area, you know, to enhance communication. (Jury’s still out on that one.)

So, when we sprung that leak in the bathroom ceiling, it was a big deal. I says, “Charlie, if it ever stops raining, we have got to do something about that leak. Our 401k’s are just starting to show signs of life.”

(I was using the royal “we,” there. I don’t know if you do this, but when refering to chores around the house, things that involve tools, brute force, and a lot of sweating, I say “we,” when I mean Charlie. He takes it in stride, though, ‘cause he knows the first rule of marriage: “A happy wife makes for a happy husband.”)

So anyways, to make a long story even longer, Charlie was up on the roof and in the crawl space above the bathroom, poking around, breathing in all that insulation dust, coughing, and and swearing most of the weekend. Bottom line, he was making a lot of noise, which made our poor little dog Scamp very anxious. He kept running around the house, whining. Coming up to me, and putting his little paws on my knees. Staring at me with that unmistakable “Timmy’s fallen down the well” look. You know, like Lassie on T.V.

Poor little fella. By Sunday evening, Scamp was plum tuckered out. Charlie, too. But at least the leak is fixed, so things are looking up in our wealth area. Now, if I could only get Charlie to put down the lid of the toilet, we’d be golden!

That’s it for now. Catch you on the flip side!

(Listen to the podcast of Ida's column here. [2])