Down East 2013 ©
Are you familiar with More, the magazine “for Women of Style and Substance?” (That’s what it says on the cover.) I know that’s just code for “gals forty and above,” but you gotta admit, it’s kind of a snappy way of putting it. More’s a decent enough magazine. Lot’s of useful tips on looking your best at any age, getting rid of belly fat, reinventing yourself, alternatives to sweat pants. You know, the usual.
Awhile back, I tried to cancel my subscription. I like More, but it was just getting overwhelming, what with People every week and Redbook and the Oprah magazine. I couldn’t keep up with it. So when it came time to renew, well, I just didn’t.
Then More called me up, wondering what was going on. I explained the situation. You know, nothing against their magazine, but I’m cutting back. And they, of course, didn’t take no for an answer. Offered to practically give the darn thing to me. But I stuck to my guns. End of story, right?
Wrong! They keep sending me the magazine. Every month it arrives in this plastic wrapper, renewal envelope inside. And the magazine’s start to pile up, ‘cause like I said, I can’t keep up with ‘em. Situations’s so bad, even my husband notices.
“Ida, I thought you canceled that More.”
“I did, Charlie, but they keep sending ‘em.”
“Well, call again.”
“I did. Twice. I told ‘em, I don’t want any more More.”
“So when they come, why don’t you just throw ‘em away?”
“Well, now that they’re here, I’m afraid if I don’t at least browse through them, I’ll miss something. Like look at this one: ‘The Best Hair Style for Your Age.’”
“Oh, don’t go fooling with your hair, Ida. It looks fine.”
Which, of course, is his way of saying, I don’t want to hear you complainin’ about your new hair cut ‘til it grows out. Leave well enough alone.
So my non-subscription to More continues like this for almost a year. Every month that darn magazine arrives in it’s plastic wrapper. And every month I get kind of miffed that they keep sending it, but I can’t wrap my head around calling them again.
Then, Charlie and me are out with Betty and Pat this past weekend, and Charlie overhears me telling Betty that I just renewed my subscription to More.
“Ida,” he goes, “you’re kidding! I thought you were done with that.”
“I know, Charlie. I tried, but they plum wore me down. I was getting the magazine for free, and I started to feel guilty. Then they offered two years for the price of one, and I just said yes.”
There you have it: a two year subscription to a magazine I have no time to read. Unless, of course, they have an article on “How to Stop Feeling Guilty and Stick to Your Guns.” I’ll study that one hard. ‘Til then, I’ll be getting More tips than I can keep up with on how to be a woman of style and substance.
That’s it for now. Catch you on the flip side!
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